I looked at the two contesting parties and thought:
“None of these really fully represent the way I think.”
But of course I knew that they didn’t form their manifestos and ideologies to please me but to please the nation. So I tried to see which one I liked best.
Frustrated, I had resolved in my head that I wouldn’t vote in general elections, referendums or any other democratic decisions. I started looking into the unconventional ways to participate in politics and began my degree in Politics and International Studies, desperate to move away from British politics.
“Eugh,” I thought to myself, “I just can’t compromise on these things.”
For the first year, I did exactly that. I fixed my gaze on the world stage and got lost in all of that for a year; I became totally oblivious to anything happening in the UK because I didn’t want to hear it. I was tired.
But when focussing on international theory and ideas, I just couldn’t find anything that I could surrender my intellect to. I had critiques of everything and wasn’t willing to lay them down just to make a choice. My grades were dropping and I was stressed because I wanted to pick and choose what bits of theories I liked to argue my stance. It wasn’t until this year that I got to a point where I was writing an essay and I asked myself:
“How critical is too critical?”
This wasn’t me deciding to just accept normative ideas, but rather me reflecting on whether all of this critical thought was actually helpful in any sort of way. I’d critique and critique and critique, but I had no solution. So how could I form an opinion of my own if I wasn’t willing to suggest any ways to ammend ideas?
I started to work on being more constructive with my critiques and I even found my theoretical worldview. I’m also back into British politics and will be voting in the upcoming elections: will you?