Apologies for the lack of blog this weekend – with Galentine’s Day and the busy weekend I just found myself in a bit of a pickle trying to get time to write.
But on the topic of Valentine’s, I found myself thinking not about the couples who were off to fancy restaurants. I thought a lot about the people who weren’t. Whilst some people like myself were happy to be in the company of friends, others were probably miserably wishing that they were with that one person. Others were in the friendzone.
Look, I’m not here to give you tips on how to get out of the friendzone – I’m here to say that the friendzone is the one of the creepiest, most self-centred concepts that society has ever produced. It gives off major NiceGuy™ vibes.
I don’t recognise the friendzone as a legitimate thing because it doesn’t exist in the mind of the other person. In their minds, the person is a platonic friend that they value and can confide in. So, it really grosses me out when people complain about being in the friendzone, having to listen to their problems and run errands with them (you know, things that any friend would do.) The friendzone screams “hey, look at me! I’m nice so you should like me, but you don’t right now, so if I keep being nice you’ll eventually want me.”
The friendzone is often a bit of banter but it perpetuates a larger problem with our society: the lack of altruism. We hate the idea of doing something nice without benefitting ourselves in some way. Society has been sucked into the vaccuum that is the cult of self, where we come first at the expense of everything else. But if you lose everything in the process of pleasing yourself, what do you have left to gain pleasure from? The best way to live in relation to our environment and the people around us is to have genuine concern for these things. If everyone is concerned about someone, then everyone is taken care of.
Why would you be friends with someone if it’s just a burden to you? Are you really incapable of being nice to someone without being attracted to them or benefitting from it in some sort of way? Nobody forced you to be their friend – If you’re someone who’s moping around in the friendzone, I urge you to get a grip of yourself. Either do the person a favour and leave them alone or be a decent human being and care about someone for reasons other than your feelings.