The Lolita Complex

This is your friendly reminder that the sexualisation of minors is disgusting.

In fact, no. I don’t intend for this to be friendly at all. Consider this to be a rude awakening. Sexualising women in school uniforms, women of a petite frame, women with “baby-faces”, barely legal teens, children and childlike sexual submission is the lowest of low.

But it runs rife in our society.

Don’t believe me? Why do we have club nights where the dress code is ‘sexy’ school uniform? Why do pornographic sites profit heavily off of the “teen” genre? Why did I grow up in a town where possibly up to 1000 counts of child sexual exploitation were swept under the carpet? Why are women immediately not ‘sexy’ when they have leg hair, or a lower pitched voice? Why are people so outraged by women and girls who feel empowered through modesty? Why do people feel entitled to the female form, even in youth? Not even just females, but what about the sexualisation and grooming of young boys, and the often swept under the carpet scandals within the western church? Oh yeah, you weren’t expecting that but I said what I said. If I as a believer don’t announce sins, I cannot denounce them. As I was saying, our society is heavily laced with paedophilic undertones. And with the recent Netflix release of Cuties, people are starting to realise how twisted our society is towards this vulnerable group.

I could write a whole book about this topic but I’ve decided to focus on one specific issue: age-play. First, it’s important to know that the practice of wearing children’s clothing and acting stereotypically childish in a sexually suggestive way is called age-play. So, let’s look at the “sexy schoolgirl” image. Why are grown adults trying to make clothes that under 18s wear sexually suggestive in the first place? When women play into this male fantasy of a “sexy schoolgirl”, don’t they realise that they are putting actual schoolgirls at risk? I’ve seen shirts that are obviously far too tight and buttoned down (which in reality would give my secondary school headteacher a meltdown if they saw such a violation of dress code), super short tartan skirts (again, if you were wearing a skirt above the knee you’d probably get sent home, plus most schools don’t even have tartan skirts anymore) and knee socks (okay, that’s acceptable at school but not with the miniskirt). This is seen in media, in fancy dress parties, at clubs and it’s actually really gross and completely for male consumption.

But why does “the male gaze” even have a gaze towards such things?

Our society went wrong when it made femininity synonymous with child-likeness and inferiority, because now we are left believing that femininity should look like submission and dumbing oneself down and being less to be attractive to men. We also have men who don’t like women that speak their mind, or are independent, and men who dislike women who won’t be products for consumption. It’s also seen with women feeling they have to forfeit their femininity to be seen and heard in predominantly male spaces. But whilst I don’t think femininity can be defined by certain traits, I’d actually argue that orthodox assumptions of what femininity is can actually be associated with emotional intelligence. I don’t feel that women should be masking traits that are associated with femininity to be respected, but I also don’t feel that they should utilise such traits to get a partner. Any man who expects you to be like a child has something deeply wrong with him, and he needs to sort that out first before he even looks for anyone to be with.


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